When life takes a U turn

Life throws challenges under the most unexpected circumstances. None can predict when life can take a U turn. But to acknowledge the fact that it can happen to anyone at any time, can only help in building our mental resilience to live life consciously and in full awareness each moment.

Many decades ago, my father told me that to be a qualified doctor is considered as one of the noblest of all professions throughout the ages. He believed in me that I would be able to do justice to the profession. I was aware of the long, winding road ahead. Years of learning, both in theory and practice often deprives one, of the fun and good times that other professional careers have. The crucial youthful years of life, specially in the twenties and thirties are often spent behind huge textbooks and journals, where academics, patient care and continuous medical education becomes the norm of life. In fact the process of learning never stops, as medical science remains the most dynamically evolving subject of all times. The recent Covid pandemic only proves and reiteriates how little we know about the tiniest of organisms on the planet and their potential effects on the human race, besides the millions of other afflictions that can effect mankind. So keeping pace with newer scientific evidences and advances always remains an endless challenge.  There is very little time left for pursuing or nurturing other passions and pursuits of life. Often family and friends are deprived of our companionship as duties and responsibilities take priority over all else. To be there for your patients at their times of need becomes the whole priority of life. Eventually, life becomes a commitment towards our patients and everything else takes a backseat.

Amidst all this, we often tend to forget our own selves in even identifying or discovering who we are. Our lives become narrowed down and often so myopic, that we forget to touch on the various other dimensions of life. To strike that perfect balance between professional commitment and nurturing your own self is an art by itself. We need to realize that our professional  lives are not something which is separate from us but is largely carved out of our personal being. To be able to find joy and satisfaction and a sense of purpose in our day to day commitments and actions is actually a part of our individuality. To live life with a sense of fulfillment can make us wholesome for our loved ones and those around us in our personal spaces too. 

To work under compulsion for the sake of monetary returns alone, can only make life an uphill task loaded with baggages of stress and anxiety. But to be able to work for the sheer joy of it , to make a difference to someone else’s life even if it is for a moment, can simply reverse the equations. You are constantly driven to be the best version of yourself without being weighed down by life itself. In the process, we must be able to find happiness in the simplest of things, like watching a sunrise, or marveling at a blooming flower, or just walking, sitting or spending some time in solitude and simply finding blissfulness in the moment. Mundane actions can itself become so wholesome. Old passions of music, dancing, reading, writing, painting, gardening, baking and infinite other hobbies can be revived or newly learnt. In fact, any new learning process can keep the brain stimulated to form newer neuronal connections and prevent diseases like dementia. And all of this is available for free.   The sheer experience of being alive today,  is indeed a reason for gratitude and rejoicing. By nurturing our own selves, we are actually able to give far more to our families and loved ones too.

I have had a share of my own challenging experiences as a doctor, particularly in the field of Oncology, which truly became my turning point in life. Facing my patients who are facing death itself on their face has not been easy. To be able to intersect their despair and fear of the disease with hope, trust and the wisdom of scientifically proven knowledge requires experience, skill as well as compassion.  I have also had to deal with my own professional colleagues, seniors and even juniors who have come as a patient and are on the other side of the table. I have tried putting myself in their shoes for a moment when I am trying to explain to them about their diagnosis, stage and treatment options. My words feel hollow and shallow as I speak to them, knowing very well that I probably don’t know how much they already know. To talk professionally to someone of your own, who comes as a patient,  has never been easy. Newer medicines and therapies bring hope, but at the same time, in certain situations, we have to bow down to the limitations of science. The fact remains that most of us will some day be on the other side of the table for some reason or the other.  Reminding myself about it does not put me down at all, but makes me more alive in the moment that I have now.

We often think that the rose garden of life is somewhere out there in the horizon, while we fail to see what is blooming every moment in front of us. Yes, it is important to acknowledge our own mortality each day as a reminder that time is indeed limited, but our potentials are not,…..and this makes me value my present moment even more, as I seize every opportunity to grow towards an infinite paradigm of possibilities.  I will certainly not postpone my ‘living fully’ any further, but rather touch upon my rainbow in the present, as I continue my journey.

Dad, this one is for you for believing in me!